Tuesday, April 1, 2008

I'm Sellin' Out


TransGriot readers, I have an announcement to make.

Today I'm changing my voter registration to Republican and joining the ever expanding ranks of freethinkng Black people rushing to get off the Democrat plantation.

We African-Americans have always been conservative, and I'm tired of fighting for people that won't take responsibility for their own lives, including you whiny butt transgender people, and not getting paid for it.

I've been in negotiations with News Corporation and I'm pleased to announce that I will become a contributor to various Fox News programs as their expert on the Homosexual Agenda. I will also be leaving Bilerico and starting my new syndicated conservative column on Monday. I'm on the verge of finalizing a book deal with Regnery Publishing to write an expose on the transgender rights movement.

So I'll have to give up my Black Like Me card. Big deal. Clarence Thomas, Ken Blackwell and Condoleezza Rice are doing wonderfully well for themselves. What did the black communty, much less the transgender community, ever do for me except give me grief?

That reminds me, I need to return those calls from Project 21 and the High Impact Leadership Coalition. They've been asking me for information about the transgender community and I'm being paid a nice consulting fee for it.

I'm ready to start rocking designer suits, have Prada purses filled with cash and wear Ferragamo pumps. Oh yeah, that reminds me, my mentor Condi and I are going shoe shopping in New York next week.

I'm leaving my open and affirming church to attend a real Bible believing one that won't tolerate your liberal America-hating family destroying agenda. With the advance check I just got from News Corporation, I have enough cash to not only get that Beemer I had my eye on last week and move back to Texas, I'm gonna do some surgical tune-ups on my body before I make my first television appearance on The O'Reilly Factor.

I've also had discussions with the Log Cabin Republicans about becoming the first African-American transgender Republican delegate. They're already clearing a spot for me in the Kentucky Republican Party delegation if i want it, and they've hinted that they may give me a prime time speaking slot at the convention in Minneapolis.

So farewell, TransGriot readers. This freethinking sistah is going back home to the Party of Lincoln.