Prez Pwns Trump At 2011 WH Correspondents Dinner

Donald Chump, (er Trump) has been on a comedic tour lately in terms of taking credit for egging on the birthers to the point where the prez had to release his long form birth certificate last week .   As we could have predicted, that still wasn't enough for these racists to 'prove' to their vanilla scented satisfaction that President Obama is a 'natural born citizen'.

Now they have expanded thir demands and want the president to release his college transcripts.

Birther fools, did you demand to see that thank you lawdy C- Yale student's transcript by the last name of Bush? 


The White House Correspondents Association's annual dinner was last night, and the president once again got to use his comedic skills in front on a national television audience on C-SPAN.   Many of his remarks were aimed at The Donald.   

Enjoy.

The 2010 White House Correspondents Dinner

One event the political junkie in me didn't get to see since I was at the Down and Derby party last night was the 2010 White House Correspondents Dinner in Washington DC.

Here's the video of the president's remarks followed by Jay Leno.

She's Baack! Tina Fey Skewers Caribou Barbie Again

Sarah Failin' has been all over the news and the country lately with her ditsy, folksy shtick that she hopes will propel her to the Republican presidential nomination and a new address at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in 2013.

Was perusing the Aunt Jemima's Revenge blog earlier today and I cracked up when I saw this video from last night's SNL show.

It's Tina Fey reprising her Emmy Award winning parody of a certain failed half term Alaskan governor pimping a Sarah Palin Network.

Shh. Don't give the chillbilly any ideas she's not capable of coming up with on her own.



In the meantime, you can peruse the blog Sarah Palin Truth Squad and The Mudflats for updated news about the Wild Alaskan Dingbat as Rep Alan Grayson (D-FL) calls her.


H/T Aunt Jemima's Revenge

Wanda Sykes Whacking Wingers

I watched it live Saturday on C-SPAN the White House Correspondents Dinner and not only enjoyed the president poking fun at himself, but loved Wanda skewering the right-wingers.



The remarks of President Obama



They were sipping Republican Red Hateraid Sunday morning on Faux News, right wing talk shows and some of the talking head shows. It's also going to be fun to see how much airtime Rush Limbaugh kills today spewing hateraid at Wanda and the prez for making fun of him.

Waah. The right-wingers can't take a joke because they are walking comedy routines and punch lines.

Keep on speaking truth to power Wanda, especially if it makes us laugh in the process.

Houston Barbies

TransGriot Note: I'm a Barbie fan, and started cracking up over this satirical post that's been making the Houstonsphere rounds. It was originally on Jeff Balke's blog and I spotted it Jay Lee's The Bald Heretic Blog

It is missing a Third Ward, Fifth Ward and South Park Barbie ;)

So without further ado, in honor of the 50th birthday of Barbie, introducing the Barbies of Houston.


Barbies of Houston


Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Houston market.

"River Oaks Barbie"

This princess Barbie is sold only at The Galleria. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade, Prada, and LV Handbags, a Rolex watch, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey, and a 25,000 sq ft. patio home. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.

"Spring TX Barbie"



The modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

"Aldine Barbie"



This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) ...unless you are a cop: then, we don't know what you are talking about.

"Tanglewood Barbie"



This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of Rolls Royce convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card, and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

"Ft. Bend Barbie"



This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt, and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams, Jr., CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

"Memorial Barbie"



This collagen-injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet prescription available, as well as warehouse conversion condo.

"Huntsville Barbie"



This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Butler Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.

"Midtown Barbie"



This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long, straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Midtown Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.

"Spring Branch Barbie"



She's perfect in every way. We don't know where Ken is because he's always out a-huntin'. Is looking to move to Katy or Ft. Bend County because Spring Branch is getting 'too ethnic'.

"Montrose Barbie"



This versatile transgender doll comes with Drag Queen Ken accessory pack. It can be easily converted simply by adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts and comes with complementary CD of show tunes.

I'll Trade You Alberta For Minnesota

One of the frequent themes that pops up in any conversation between me and my Canadian friends besides waxing poetic about all things 'Timmys' is them dissing Alberta.

As some of you may or may not know, Alberta is frequently compared to my home state of Texas because of the wealth, the oil industry ties, the rampant conservatism on steroids both there and my birth state, and conservative national leaders from Alberta and Texas despised by the rest of the nation's citizens.

One of the jokes I frequently hear from Canadians living in the eastern end of the country is 'we'll trade you Alberta for Minnesota' (or whatever deal they can get for it).

Sorry, we ain't giving up Minnesota. What would I do without Prince, the Minnesota Vikings, the Minnesota Twins, and when I'm griping about what passes for cold weather here in Da Ville, thanking my lucky stars I'm not there or in Palin-run Alaska?

The Oil Sands, Edmonton, Banff National Park and Calgary make it a tempting offer, but until we can turn Texas back to its progressive roots, we can't risk having Stephen Harper and his conservafriends in Wild Rose Country linking up with the Republican idiots they admire.

We just got a Democratic president in the White House who is quite busy cleaning up the Chernobylesque mess that Bushie boy left behind.

So, in the words of the latest game show craze south of the border, No Deal!

Laughing At Ourselves

We transwomen on a daily basis face so many serious issues and threats to our simple right to exist. We have people that fear us, that refuse to understand what we deal with in our lives, hate us to the point that they want to kill us, keep us unemployed, or even deny us the opportunity to go to the gender appropriate bathroom.

But just as my peeps have learned over the centuries to take dire situations and turn them into humor, transwomen for the sake of our own sanity either have or will need to learn how to do the same thing.

Like the Playboy transgender themed cartoons that are part of this post, while they are examples of some serious moments in transgender people's lives, I look at them and take a moment to chuckle. It helps remind me to stand down just for a few moments from the Defcon 1 life-or-death game face I have to put on sometimes just to live my life in a world that can be hostile to transgender people.

At times I think back to some of the more embarrassing moments I went through early in my transition that make me laugh now, but were mortifying events at the time they happened. I forgot to lock the bathroom door while non revving home during a 1999 San Francisco-Houston flight and fortunately I was in a sitting position when the door popped open. I got teased about it at work for a month and Lisa Bronte, the first class flight attendant who witnessed it, needled me about it for a year.

I take time to find humor in my situation and allow it into my life because even though I'm committed to seeing transgender rights laws become a reality and do my small part to make it happen, it can be depression inducing and frustrating work. But even out of some of those journeys to lobby have come humorous moments that I treasure to this day.

There have been times when I've gone to conventions and been one of the few African-Americans in the room, but have observed or experienced things that made me double over in laughter.

I still have fond memories of the first time I showed up at a planning meeting for my 20th high school reunion. While some of my high school classmates had heard I'd transitioned, others hadn't. The joke I cracked for the next year and a half leading up to that October 2000 reunion weekend was, "Well, we know who has a lock on the 'Most Changed Award' for this reunion."

I know we are tackling some serious and seemingly intractable problems, especially as transpeople of color. But just as we need to stop, take a look around and thank God for the blessings that we have in our lives such as good friends, good health and allies who get it, we should at the same time try to find ways to inject more humor in our lives as well.


TransGriot Note: cartoons were transgender themed recaptions by Lorna Samuels

The Houston Traffic Rules

TransGriot Note:This was posted to another group that I'm a member of and I found it hilarious. The original author is unknown. I've cleaned it up and added some things as well.


H-Town, Space City, the Bayou City, 3rd Coast, The Dirty 3rd or whatever you wanna call it.

1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is 'Hue-stun,' not 'Ewe-stun', or 'house-tun' You call it 'house-ton' and we know you're a Yankee or worse, from New York.

2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Houston has its own version. The first one is hold on and pray. There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Houston. We all drive like that.

3. All directions start with, "Go down to Loop 610"...which has no beginning and no end. Conversely, if you get lost, find Loop 610. 30 minutes later you'll end up in the part of town you wanted to be in or find the major street you were looking for.

4. The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through traffic..."a scenic drive."

5. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 AM to 10:00 AM. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 PM to 7:00 PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.

6. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot. If you find yourself as the first car off the line, count to five when the light turns green before proceeding in order to avoid getting clobbered by someone running the red light on the other side.

7. Kuykendahl Road can ONLY be pronounced by a native Houstonian.

8. Construction on I-10, I-45, US 59 and Loop 610 is a generational way of life, an economic stimulant and a permanent form of entertainment.

9. All unexplained smells are explained by the phrases, "Oh, we must be in Pasadena!" , "God, I hate Baytown!" or "I must be near the Ship Channel."

10. If someone actually uses their turn signal it is either a factory defect, they just graduated from driver's ed or they just moved here.

11. All old ladies with blue hair in a pink Cadillac have total right-of-way.


12. The minimum acceptable speed on Loop 610 is 85 mph. Anything less is considered downright sissy. In turn, the minimum speed on Westheimer Road is at least 45 mph.

13. The rod iron on windows in east Houston is NOT ornamental.

14. Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that says, "Keep honking, I'm reloading." In fact, don't honk at anyone.

15. If you're in the left lane and only going 70 mph in a 60 mph zone, people are not waving hello when they pass you.


16. The Sam Houston Tollway (Beltway 8) is our daily version of NASCAR. The Hardy Toll Road is our local version of the Autobahn.

17. If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend.

18. When in doubt, remember that all unmarked exits lead to either Dallas or Louisiana.

19. If you live in Katy or Spring and I live on the south side of Houston we'll never hang out.

20. The best thing about being drunk between 2-5 am is that Whataburger, Jack In The Box and Denny's all serve both breakfast and regular menus.

21. You can be pulled over by any police vehicle, even if you were just given a ticket.

22. You don't have to wait for an exit to get off a freeway. Just follow the ruts in the grass to the feeder road like everyone else. This is how Houston residents notify the Texas Department of Transportation where exits should have been built.

23. Some major crosstown streets in Houston have multiple names depending on what part of town you're in. Exhibit A: Westheimer Rd. turns into Elgin St. which becomes Lockwood Dr. when it passes the University of Houston.

24. If given directions that involve driving on freeways, we don't call them by their names. I-10 is the Katy/East Fwy, I-45 is the Gulf/North Fwy, US 290 is the Northwest Fwy, TX 288 is the South Fwy, US 59 is the Eastex/Southwest Fwy and Beltway 8 is the Sam Houston Tollway

25. Elsewhere, they are called frontage roads. Here in Houston we call them FEEDER roads. Those feeder roads also have U-turn lanes at major intersections. So don't give us blank stares when we say "Exit the feeder road and use the loop-de-loop"

If you've never lived here, most of this will sound utterly insane. But to all of us who were either born here or call Houston home, this is the truth and y'all know it!