Transgender Youth Support Groups

The signs that you have a trans child on your hands show up as early as age 3 in some cases.    With more parent opting to let their kids transition earlier or determine their gender identity, the need for support serives and organizations for trans youth and their parents has grown exponentially over the last decade.

If you are looking for some sites and organizations who provide information and support for the parents and loved ones of a trans child, here are some links.    This will be a ongoing project

Trans Youth Family Allies

Trans Kids Purple Rainbow Foundation

Camp Aranu'tiq

Camp Aranu'tiq-A Summer Camp Of Our Own

Schools are letting kids out for the summer, and many of those kids are either heading to, in or soon will be attending a summer camp. For one to two weeks they get to engage in various activities, meet new friends and spend some time away from home at the same time.

With transpeople now beginning to transition as early as ages five and six, they now face the same 'where do they fit in' issues as we late teen and adult transitioners in addition to having some unique to childhood.

For parents of transkids who would like their children to have that classic summer camp experience, that becomes problematic when trying to find one that will not only accept their transchild, but provide a relatively drama free environment as well.

Introducing Camp Aranu'tiq. It's a weeklong, tuition-free, overnight summer camp for transgender and gender-variant youth ages 8 through 15 located in Southern New England.

For obvious reasons I and the staff will not reveal the actual location so that it stays a safe place from the conservafools and idiots like the Phred Phelpses of the world.

As for how it got its name, Aranu'tiq is a Chugach word for a person who was thought to embody both the male and female spirit. The Chugach are an indigenous people who live in Alaska. Aranu'tiq people were often revered and thought to be very lucky because their existence transcended traditional gender boundaries.

Camp Aranu'tiq has a traditional summer camp program that includes arts and crafts, dance, drama, swimming, music, canoeing, creative writing, and land sports such as basketball, soccer, dodgeball, kickball, and beach volleyball. The week will also include campfires (with s'mores!), a talent show, an all-camp capture the flag game, and other special activities in age appropriate groups.

There are also a few professional therapists at camp for campers who may want to talk about various issues, but the main focus of the week, just like it is for any summer camp is on having fun.

This year's dates for Camp Aranu'tiq calls fir the campers to arrive on Sunday, August 22 and depart Saturday, August 28, 2010.

The camp is full for this inaugural season, but you may want to check with the camp staff and get on the wait list.

You can contact them with this link or contact the camp office.

Camp Aranu'tiq
P.O. Box 620141
Newton Lower Falls, MA 02462

It is a 501c3 organization founded in 2009, and you can give them a tax deductible donation on their website.

According to their website, Camp Aranu'tiq will have kids from all over the United States and Canada, and will provide transportation from the New York and Boston areas to their facility which is a 2 hour drive from those cities.

Have fun kids in the camp's inaugural session, and may Camp Aranu'tiq live long, prosper and serve the trans and gender variant community well.

Transkid Jazz Singing

Remember Jazz, the young transkid from Barbara Walters 20/20 report on transgender children? Well, here's another example of a kid, once their trans issue is dealt with developing to be a happy and well adjusted human being.

Peep this video of Jazz singing.

Transgender Children's Bill Of Human Rights

TransGriot Note: While doing research for another post, I stumbled across a site with this Draft Transgendered Children’s Bill of Human Rights. It was penned by Natacha Kennedy, who got the inspiration for it from an original idea by Trans Youth Family Allies.


Transgendered children have the right;

· to be called by a name they recognise as their own and to have the personal pronoun (he/she) which they prefer used to describe them,


· to be accepted by everyone as the gender they prefer,

· to appear on the outside the way they feel on the inside,

· to live with their parents, not be taken away because of their gender identities and to have their parents informed about gender identity issues

· to know that they are transgendered, even if they decide to conceal their gender identities from adults, and to know that they are not weird, deviant, unacceptable or evil.

· not to be abused, teased or bullied by other children or adults for being transgendered,

· to be supported by all adults working with them in school and other support services,

· to be taught by teachers who understand the nature of gender identity in transgendered children, and to be given the language with which to talk about themselves.

· to be in a school where other pupils have been taught about gender identity and where they can feel safe,

· to wear whatever clothes make them feel comfortable,

· to decide which toilet to use and which clubs or sports teams to join,

· to learn about other people whose gender identities are different from the majority of people,

· to go through puberty in a way which is acceptable to them,

· to be given the same opportunities to succeed in their education as all other children,

· to self-determination, dignity, respect, non-interference, to make informed personal decisions,

· to a voice in any situations where decisions are being made about their future.

KRXQ-FM Jocks Hatin' On Omaha Trans Child

Ignorance abounds about transgender people and their lives, and it's a never ending struggle to get the correct information out there about our lives.

That struggle is only complicated by media people who spew disinformation and transphobic hatred on the public airwaves.

GLAAD contacted me about a problematic May 28 broadcast of the Rob, Arnie & Dawn in the Morning radio show. It's heard in Sacramento, California on KRXQ 98.5 FM and Reno, Nevada on KDOT 104.5 FM, and featured this transphobic tirade against transgender children by hosts Rob Williams and Arnie States.

They were discussing the recent story of Kate in Omaha, NE and her parents’ decision to support her transition. The two haters spent more than 30 minutes explicitly making cruel, dehumanizing and defamatory comments toward transgender children.

Among the comments made by the hosts:

ROB WILLIAMS [11:12]: This is a weird person who is demanding attention. And when it’s a child, all it takes is a hug, maybe some tough love or anything in between. When your little boy said, ‘Mommy, I want to walk around in a dress.’ You tell them no cause that’s not what boys do. But that’s not what we’re doing in this culture.

ARNIE STATES [13:27]: If my son, God forbid, if my son put on a pair of high heels, I would probably hit him with one of my shoes. I would throw a shoe at him. Because you know what? Boys don’t wear high heels. And in my house, they definitely don’t wear high heels.

ROB WILLIAMS [17:45]: Dawn, they are freaks. They are abnormal. Not because they’re girls trapped in boys bodies but because they have a mental disorder that needs to be somehow gotten out of them. That’s where therapy could help them.

ROB WILLIAMS [18:15]: Or because they were molested. You know a lot of times these transgenders were molested. And you need to work with them on that. The point is you don’t allow the behavior. You cure the cause!

ARNIE STATES [21:30]: You got a boy saying, ‘I wanna wear dresses.’ I’m going to look at him and go, ‘You know what? You’re a little idiot! You little dumbass! Look, you are a boy! Boys don’t wear dresses.’

ARNIE STATES [29:22]: You know, my favorite part about hearing these stories about the kids in high school, who the entire high school caters around, lets the boy wear the dress. I look forward to when they go out into society and society beats them down. And they end up in therapy.

Thanks to co-host Dawn Rossi who stood up to Williams and States during the segment despite her lack of familiarity with transgender issues.

She repeatedly defended transgender people and made an on-air apology for her colleagues’ defamatory remarks.

Okay people, y'all know what to do. Let the transbigots Rob and Arnie and their management know that attacking a trans child ain't cool and thank Dawn Rossi for standing up for us.

Please contact KRXQ management in Sacramento, CA where the show is produced and respectfully demand that radio show hosts Rob Williams and Arnie States publicly apologize.

Call on KRXQ to hold Williams and States accountable for their remarks and establish clear standards to ensure their media platform will not be used to condone or promote violence against any parts of the communities they serve.

And if that doesn't get their attention, for those of you in the Sacramento, CA metro area, you can lodge protests when their FCC broadcast license comes up for renewal.


John Geary
Vice President & General Manager
KRXQ-FM
(916) 339-4209
jgeary@entercom.com

Arnie States
On Air Personality
KRXQ-FM
(916) 334-7777
rad@robarnieanddawn.com

Rob Williams
On Air Personality
KRXQ-FM
(916) 334-7777
rwilliams@entercom.com

Transkid In Omaha, NE Begins Living Her Life

As much as I loved growing up in the 60's and 70's, I would have loved even more to have been given an opportunity to grow up as a female during my school years.

I think about that every time I see the stories of the brave parents of transgender kids who allow them to transition early in life so that when they get to adulthood won't have as much baggage to carry into it.

I've been following the story about the Omaha, NE parents who are allowing their 8 year old child Kate to begin living full time as a girl in the fall.



“It was not a decision that was made rashly at all. It was a decision to protect her psyche and her self-esteem,” the mother said. “She’s been a girl since the beginning, everything about her, the way she dances and skips around and the things she’s attracted to. It’s more than toys and clothes.”

The mother said Kate has consistently asked to be called a girl since she was 4 years old and even said something that's all to familiar to many of us in the transgender community, what we call the 'Transgender Child's Prayer'.

“One night, she said ‘Every night when I go to bed, I pray my inside will match my outside. But it never happens,'" the mother said, recalling the words of her middle child.

Kate said about her situation, “It’s kind of like you’re trapped somewhere and you can’t get out.”

Here's where the anti-transgender chickens that Dr. Paul McHugh spread at the Vatican have roosted in someone's life. The mother is a lifelong Catholic and wanted to continue her child's education at a local Catholic school, but the archdiocese of Omaha, following the transhating policies of the Roman Catholic Church, refused to allow Kate to begin third grade as a female.

So Kate will begin third grade not in the school she's been at since kindergarten, but in a public school this fall.

When her mother announced that Kate would be allowed to pierce her ears next week, the girl screeched and had a huge smile on her face.

“You’ve waited long enough to live as a girl,” the mother said.

Kate's mother is on a mission to educate the community and encourage churches to open a dialog about diversity and acceptance of all people.

“Just take the time to listen. It is different. It’s something most people have never heard of, but it doesn’t make it scary or pathological,” she said.

Hello Catholic Church, Religious Reich, and transhaters, are you listening?

Just Because You're Younger Doesn't Mean I Can't Learn Something From You

One lesson I was taught by my parents growing up was even though I possessed off the charts intelligence, in order to keep me from developing the arrogance that can sometimes accompany that level of intelligence, I was told and have observed that there's always someone on the planet who is smarter than you.

I like surrounding myself in my circle of friends with people of not only diverse backgrounds that I can have intelligent, thought provoking conversations with, but of different ages who can teach me something as well.

Sometimes those people are younger than me.

Just because I've lived longer on Planet Earth doesn't necessarily mean I'm automatically more intelligent than a twenty or thirtysomething. I have a life experience advantage on them, but if I sit down and have a conversation with a young brother or sister who has some profound insightful knowledge to impart to me, I'm in shut up and listen mode.

We must remember that the twenty and thirtysomethings grew up being immersed in information and are far more tech savvy than those of us whose first computer was a Radio Shack TRS-80.

I take time to listen to the younglings. They may have a fresh way of looking at a problem or have come up with new tactics to achieve an old goal.

If you're too busy dismissing their idea simply because the person proposing it doesn't have more birthdays under their belt, then you run the risk of driving them away and you and the cause you're championing never having the benefit of their wisdom again.

One of my goals has always been that I want to continue to grow and evolve as a person throughout my lifespan. Sometimes the people that will help you achieve that goal happen to be part of Generations X, Y and Z and not the Pepsi or Greatest Generation.

When they wish to speak to me, they'll have my undivided attention.

Kim Petras Video

Congrats to German transteen Kim Petras, who recently had her SRS and is happily embarking on her new life. She has a blog called Kimperium (written in German and English) and a recording contract. Girlfriend's future is so bright she needs shades to walk down the street.

Here's the latest entry from her YouTube video blog.




And a September 21, 2008 entry

The BBC Teen Transsexuals Documentary

Y'all knew that I was going to find that video of the BBC documentary if it was uploaded to the Net and post it here. The first attempt to do so got derailed when the first place I found it on YouTube deleted it, but I quickly found another person who'd uploaded it, and this time I got all six parts of it.

So now, here's the documentary.



Part 2



Part 3



Part 4



Part 5



Part 6

Rochelle Evans Video

Back in May I posted the Dallas Voice story that answered the question of how transteen Rochelle Evans was doing since winning her battle to be herself.

Hopefully things have gotten better for her and her mother since that story was published and I hope Rochelle realizes her dream of attending college at TCU.

In the meantime, here's the video of Rochelle telling her story. Merry Christmas sis and good luck in your quest to get the diploma and the TCU degree.

Lucy Parker Stirkes Back

The BBC recently broadcast a documentary called Teen Transsexual that featured then 17 year old Lucy Parker. She was awaiting her 18th birthday so that she could undergo SRS. A subsequent BBC documentary followed her to Thailand chronicled her surgery.

Well, Lucy has released a YouTube video that hits back at the folks that posted the hateful comments to the BBC Teen Transsexuals video uploaded to YouTube.

Here's Lucy looking lovely and speaking her mind about her life and the recent changes in it.

Out Of The Mouths Of Babes

Out of the mouths of babes, the old saying goes, comes pearls of wisdom. This wise youngling is Jazz, who we were first introduced to during Barbara Walters' 20/20 documentary report last year on transkids called 'My Secret Self'.

Found this YouTube video of a now 7 year old Jazz talking about being a transkid.



There's also an organization called the TransKids Purple Rainbow Foundation that seeks to fund research and education on transgender issues and work to create a better future for all transkids.

That's definitely something I can get behind.

Zapata Remembered At Funeral As Courageous Friend

TransGriot Note: I'm happy to see that Angie's finally getting the respectful coverage that she deserved.

It's bad enough her life was tragically cut short. But she didn't deserve to be disrespected on top of that in print by using a birth gender role and a birth name that's widely at variance with the way she lived her life up until she was taken away from us. I pray that the people who did this are found and eventually brought to justice.

Thanks to everyone who called, wrote and complained to the Greeley Tribune to ensure this article became a reality.

by Jakob Rodgers
Greeley Tribune

Senior pastor Joe Sanchez solemnly stepped up to the front of the congregation, greeted those in attendance, and with a strong and commanding voice, offered his deep condolences.

"We are here to celebrate the life of a person, the life of a person cut down in the prime of their life. What can I tell you in this situation, it never feels good to come before a congregation like yourself to express what we feel about a young person that is taken from in the prime of their life."

Yet, with words of encouragement and of hope, nearly 200 friends and family of Angie Zapata wept in silence, smiled in memory and cried in remorse Wednesday night as they remembered the lively 18-year-old at the aptly-named Healing Place, 17801 E. 160th Ave. in Brighton.

"Death is always an interruption," said Sanchez, concerning a passage in the Bible, before speaking in Spanish as he did often during the service. "It never comes at a convenient time, and I believe that we know it is inevitable -- just not now, just not now Lord, I have so much to do. I have so much to say. I have so many relationships" to enrich.

Instead of focusing on the tragedy that took Zapata from their lives, those in attendance decided to remember her simple and unique qualities.

The way she would spoil her niece and nephew, even quitting a job to take care of them, as two friends reminisced during the service. The way she loved roses, the colors red and black, and way she always made sure her makeup was good -- even simply when taking a trip to Wal-Mart.

Perhaps, most of all, however, was the way she never backed down from who she was, instead saving the energy to care for her friends and family.

"She was always happy," said Alicia Portillo, one of Angie's friends. "She loved music. She didn't care what people thought of her. She always just wanted to be who she was and that was female and to be loved."

Portillo even said Zapata's courage helped her with her own identity as a lesbian.

"Angie gave me the power to not care what people thought of me."

Zapata was born male, but identified herself as a woman, and lived her life as such. Zapata was found dead on July 17 in her apartment on the 2000 block of 4th Street in Greeley, and her car -- a green 2003 Chrysler PT Cruiser, with the Colorado license plate number of 441ORN -- is still missing. Police have not said yet if her identity played a part in the homicide.

Kelly Costello, of the Colorado Anti-Violence Program, said the group thought it might be a hate crime, and that such incidences usually do not end with one act of violence. In 2007, he said, there were 19 deaths nationwide that were linked to either homophobic or transphobic violence.

"We often find that hate crimes have a ripple effect they effect every one that identifies in that community," said Costello. "So it's no longer about the individual, but there's an increased vulnerability and fear among the community."

After Zapata's body was carried from the church, Sanchez talked with friends and family, and recalled a message he tried shared with the family before the service.

"Give them hope," said Sanchez, who continuously remarked how happy he was Zapata began attending the church a month before her death. "And give them a desire to go on and to know that this isn't good-bye, but this is see you in the morning. It's not an end, it's not an end. It's a message of hope for eternity."

Another Transwoman Murdered, Another Media Diss

Umm, this is getting ridiculous on a lot of levels. It's my sad duty to report that another transgender teen has lost her life. This time it happened in Greeley, CO to 18 year old Latina Angie Zapata.

Her family was supportive of her transition, but you wouldn't know it based on once again, a reporter (Mike Peters) not cracking open the AP Stylebook and failing to follow the guidelines in it for reporting on transgender people.

I ask once again, how fracking hard is it to follow this?

transgender-Use the pronoun preferred by the individuals who have acquired the physical characteristics of the opposite sex or present themselves in a way that does not correspond with their sex at birth.

If that preference is not expressed, use the pronoun consistent with the way the individuals live publicly.

Well, at least the media is consistent. We've seen numerous examples of media reports, no matter where the story is written that utterly failed to respect African-American transwomen.

Now it's a Latina.

Once again, if the media won't do it and respect our fallen transpeople, then I'm gonna do it my damned self on TransGriot. I'm rewriting Mike Peters July 17 story from the Greeley Tribune to show you what a properly written story on a transgender person following the AP Stylebook guidelines should look like.

****

In a quiet neighborhood in southeast Greeley, police Thursday were investigating the death of a victim they identified only as "a young woman."

Police were called to the apartment house in the 2000 block of 4th Avenue at about 3 p.m. Thursday when the body of an 18-year-old transgender woman was found in an upstairs apartment. Police at the scene said it appeared the young woman may have been dead for several hours before she was found.

The neighborhood is one-half block south of the University of Northern Colorado Transportation office. It's also about two blocks southeast of the Jackson Field Sports Complex.

Neighbors gathered on front lawns and in the streets as police officers arrived at the scene to begin the investigation. Yellow crime tape sealed off the upper floors of the two-story apartment complex. The apartment house is probably the newest building in the neighborhood, a large brick building with eight apartments and parking in the back.

A large group of children gathered across the street in the parking lot of a mobile home court, watching from their bicycles as the family grieved and the victim's body was removed.

The young woman's mother was outside the apartment, crying and screaming at police that she wanted to see her daughter. After police told her several times that they were keeping people out of the apartment to preserve the evidence, she left with friends and family.

Neighbors in the area all said they didn't know the people who lived in the apartment building.

The identity of the young woman was not released by Thursday night, nor was the cause of death.

Weld County Coroner Maria Vincent said the death appears to be a homicide, so she could not give any details. Sgt. Adam Turn said Greeley Police were waiting to officially rule the death as a homicide until the autopsy is conducted at 10 a.m. today.

****

Of course, local transgender peeps and our allies are outraged by the disrespectful way Angie's murder was written up in the paper. Here's a press release from Kelly Costello of the Colorado Anti-Violence Project.

On Thursday, July 17, Angie Zapata, an 18-year old Latina transwoman was murdered in her home in Greeley, CO. She suffered two severe fractures in her skull. Her family believes that she was murdered by her boyfriend or members of her boyfriend's gang because of her gender identity.

The Greeley Tribune, a local newspaper reporting on this case, continues to use an incorrect name and pronouns for Angie. Her family has been very supportive of her and are both angry and upset at this lack of accuracy and sensi tivity in reporting. Please let the Greeley Tribune know that this is not acceptable and their lack of appropriate reporting is contributing to an environment where violence against transgender people is continuing. Contact information for the newspaper, editor and reporter is below.

The perpetrator has stolen Angie's sister's car, a very dark forest green 2003 Chrysler PT Cruiser with the Colorado license plate number 441ORN. There is a hubcap missing on the front passenger-side tire and there is paint missing on the front bumper on the driver-side, under the headlight.

Anyone with information about the car is asked to call the Greeley police through the communications center, 970-350-9600. In addition, Angie's cell phone and wallet were also stolen.

All media contacts should be directed to Kelly Costello, Director of Victim Services at the Colorado Anti-Violence Program (CAVP) at either kelly@coavp.org or 303-839-5204. CAVP works to eliminate violence within and against lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer communities in Colorado.

Kelly Costello
Director of Victim Services
Colorado Anti-Violence Program
P.O. Box 181085
Denver, CO 80218
www.coavp.org

(303)839-5204
(888)557-4441 toll-free

Greeley Tribune

Write a letter to the editor
http://apps.greeleytribune.com/utils/forms/lettertoeditor/

Randy Bangert, Editor
Phone Number: (970) 392-4435
E-Mail: rbangert@greeleytribune.com

Mike Peters, Reporter
Phone Number: (970) 392-4433
E-Mail: mpeters@greeleytribune.com

Transteen Documentaries

Here are two more documentaries on transteens that I found on YouTube. Enjoy.


The MSNBC story on Angelika Torres




Julie Joyce's story 'I'm Not A Boy'

Rochelle's Tough Year

TransGriot Note: Remember Rochelle Evans, who last year fought the Fort Worth Independent School District for the right to be herself? Well, that was the easy part. This Dallas Voice story updates us on what's transpired in her life since.

Fort Worth Transgender Teen Trying To Put Life Back Together

by Ben Briscoe
Dallas Voice
photos by Ben Briscoe

It’s been just more than a year since local transgender teen Rochelle Evans made headlines by fighting her school district for the right to be called “she” and to be herself.

Now Evans says this year was even harder than the last.

It all started when Evans’ mom and dad got divorced after her father couldn’t handle the transition from Rodney to Rochelle.

“That was really hard,” Evans said. “But it quickly got worse.”

Evans’s mom, Lenora, lost her job and the family had to move into a one-bedroom apartment because that’s all they could afford. Evans went to live with her mom’s aunt, but there was a catch: She had to come as a male not a female.

“It just felt like I had been teased. As if you know, as if the world had teased me about what I could be,” she said. “I could be this beautiful woman. Stand up on my own. Be who I wanted to be. I could fight my school district with my mom’s support. And to have that ripped away from you hurt a lot.”

Evans and her aunt and uncle struggled over her identity. The conflict got so great that Evans moved two more times and was in and out of school so much that she racked up four months of absences.

When she tried to re-enroll in a Fort Worth Independent School District she couldn’t because she had missed too much school.

But Evans recovered. She’s living with her best friend’s family and is in an academy now and doing well.

“It’s been going great. No bullying from kids. I get along with all the teachers, all the staff. So as far as now, I’m just worried about getting my education,” Evans said.

In fact, education is so important to her that she wakes up every day while it’s still dark outside to ride the bus to school. Having just turned 16, Evans could get a license and drive, but she chooses not to because she wants to have her name legally changed to Rochelle before getting any form of identification.

"I’ve talked to a lot of older transgender men and women, and they all say until you get your name changed and your F for female put on your driver’s license, life is going to be hard,” Evans said. “And with my mom going through her financial hardships, I just haven’t been able to pursue that yet.”

Like any other teen, Evans is obsessed with text messaging her friends and trying to find a job for some extra spending money. But unlike others, employers are turning her down for being transgender.

She’s had several prospective bosses tell her so in a roundabout way and one at a restaurant chain that just bluntly said it.

“That was really like a punch to the face. Like, oh, that hurt,” she said. “But I can move on. It will heal.”

Evans considered legal action but says she wants to put any more lawsuits on hold, at least until summer. That’s because her primary goal right now is doing well enough in school to get a scholarship to Texas Christian University where she wants to major in psychology.

Another hardship this year has been learning how to date as a transgender teenage girl. A situation can get sticky when Evans has to tell guys she’s interested in that she is biologically male.

“Normally they are, ‘Click.’ You know, [they] hang up in [my] face and [I] never hear from them again,” Evans said. “And you know, I can’t really blame them for it. But it still hurts.”

Plus, she always wonders in the back of her head why those who don’t hang up stay on the line.

“It’s just hard too because I feel like a lot of times, I’m a fetish. Men think, ‘Oh, I haven’t tried that before,’” Evans said. “But I’ll get through it. I’ll find that one person. I’m only 16. I’ve got some time.”

For now, Evans is just taking everything day by day.

“Rochelle, she is just having to do a whole lot, just growing up a whole lot by herself,” Lenora said as tears ran down her cheeks. “I’m just proud of her because as always she just succeeds by herself.”

Colleges Recruit GLBT Students At UC San Diego

If you're a college bound GLBT student or ally on the West Coast looking for a GLBT friendly campus, you may want to make that hop down to San Diego on Friday, April 11 for the Campus Pride College Admission Fair.

It's free for any LGBT or Ally youth and their families. No registration is necessary for this event. It will be taking place at the Price Center Ballroom on the University of California-San Diego campus from 11 AM to 2 PM PDT and is being hosted by the UC San Diego LGBT Resource Center.

In addition to grand prize drawings featuring iPods, books, and CD's throughout the day, there will be seminars during the event as well on these topics:

“Finding Your LGBT-Friendly Campus”
by Shane L. Windmeyer, Executive Director of Campus Pride
11:15 a.m. to 11:45 a.m.

“Pros and Cons of Selecting a United States Service Academy:
The LGBT Experience”
by USNAOut.org -- Alumni Group
11:45 a.m. to 12:15 p.m.

“Navigating the College Admissions Process”
by the UC San Diego Office for Admissions and Relations with Schools
12:15 p.m. to 12:45 p.m.

"Point Foundation Scholarships”
Financial support, mentoring and hope to meritorious students who are marginalized due to sexual orientation or gender identity
12:45 p.m. to 1:15 p.m.

“Financing Your Education”
by the UC San Diego Department of Financial Aid
1:15 p.m. to 1:45 p.m.

As of April 3, 2008 this was the list of colleges and organizations that were slated to participate in this event:

Bard College at Simon's Rock
Bennington College
Boise State University
California Lutheran University
California State University, San Marcos
Columbia College Chicago
Eckerd College
Eugene Lang College
Emory University
Georgetown University
GLSEN (Local/Regional Chapters)
Green Mountain College
Humboldt State University
Illinois Institute of Technology
Ithaca College
Kalamazoo Collegee
Laboratory Institute of Merchandising (LIM College)
Lewis & Clark College
Mills College
Northeastern University
Pennsylvania State University
Pitzer College
Point Foundation
Princeton University
Roosevelt University
Stanford University
Sonoma State University
University of Arizona
University at Buffalo
University of California, Riverside
University of California, San Diego
University of Colorado at Boulder
University of Denver
University of Illinois at Springfield
University of Maryland
University of the Pacific
University of Pennsylvania
University of Puget Sound
USNAOUT.org -- Alumni Organization
University of San Francisco
University of Southern California
University of Utah
University of Washington
Whitman College
Whittier College
Yale University

If you need further details about this event, you can visit www.campusclimateindex.org/events contact Campus Pride at (704) 277-6710, visit their website at http://www.campuspride.org/ or e-mail them at info@campuspride.org.

'Mom, I Need To Be A Girl' Rereleased

I had the pleasure of meeting 'Just Evelyn' during a 1999 Creating Change conference in Oakland. Evelyn is a determined, single mom of 3 and pioneer of the work that she now does as a TransYouth Family Allies board member and I had a blast talking to this fascinating woman.

She wrote about about her then teenage daughter Danielle in a book entitled, 'Mom, I Need To Be A Girl and how she facilitated Danielle's transition more than ten years ago.

I read her book and for parents and care providers dealing with these issues, or people who simply wish to better educate themselves on these issues, it's a must read tome. Evelyn's common-sense filled book is recommended by TYFA as a must read for parents and young transitioners alike age 9 and up. TYFA also recommends it for the libraries of every care provider who works with children and adolescents with gender identity issues.

I'm happy to note that 'Mom, I Need To Be A Girl' is not only being rereleased, Evelyn will be donating all proceeds for the sale of the book which is available on Amazon.com to TYFA.

If you want to preview it, the book is also on Lynn Conway's website as well in several languages.

'It's Me In A Different Way'

By Jeff Kass, Rocky Mountain News
Photos by Matt McClain, Rocky Mountain News
kassj@RockyMountainNews.com
Originally published 12:30 a.m., March 1, 2008
Updated 03:13 a.m., March 1, 2008

On the first day of eighth grade, Melaina Marquez wore a polo shirt, wedge shoes and denim skirt with ruffles.

The year before, that outfit would have been out of the question. At that point, Melaina was a boy known as Manuel.

Melaina, now 15, is considered to be transgender: a person who does not identify with the sex based on his or her genitalia. She decided to tell her story after news reports last month about a 7-year-old Douglas County girl who attended school last year as a boy.

At age 2, Melaina recalls playing with Barbies and her favorite toy, a kitchenette. When she played house in pre-school, "I would always want to be the mom."

Melaina says she never struggled with her identity. But her mother, Michelle Benzor-Marquez, cannot say the same.

When Melaina was around 8 years old, she was allowed to wear light-colored lip gloss and a little blush, but only at home. Melaina's hair grew longer, little by little, but her mom had the stylist chop it off one day in sixth grade. Melaina cried the whole 20 miles to her grandmother's home.

Benzor-Marquez hoped Melaina was gay because she figured the world could better handle that than transgender.

"I know people think it's wrong to be transgender," said Melaina, who on a recent day was dressed in black jeans and a black and gold striped blouse with decorative bow. "But God made everyone different in his own way, and you can't change that. It's not a choice."

As many as 3 million

Statistics on transgender people are generally unreliable, according to advocates. Many people are scared or embarrassed to come forward and may not know about the term transgender, which came into common usage only about a decade ago.

The National Center for Transgender Equality in Washington, D.C., says it can only estimate from information that has been "cobbled together" that there may be from 1 million to 3 million people in the United States who take steps to live as the opposite sex.


Some advocates believe more transgender people are coming out. TransYouth Family Allies, which has counseled the Douglas County family, says it worked with roughly 15 families nationally last year. So far this year, the number is already more than 30, it reports.

It is not unusual for a youngster to deal with issues of sexual identity, according to experts. Trinidad (CO) sex change surgeon Marci Bowers said about 95 percent of those she has operated on told her they remember identifying with the opposite sex as young as 4 or 5 years old.

"They (the kids) are hard-wired that way," Bowers said. "Don't get caught up on the genitalia. It's the child's internal concept of their self-identity. They know who they are."

From Manuel to Melaina

In fall 2006, the Bill Reed Middle School psychologist had a meeting with Benzor-Marquez. Melaina, known then as Manuel, was being teased and harassed.

"I had to come out and say, 'My daughter is transgender,' " Benzor-Marquez recalled.

This was the first time she ever said the word - and the first step toward fully acknowledging her daughter's situation.

She then told the principal that Melaina would be living as a girl "in the future."

"His eyes got really big. He was scared. It was unknown to him," she recalled.

But he was supportive, and asked, "What can we do about this?"

Benzor-Marquez didn't know herself.

"I'll keep you posted," she said.

Melaina had about 10 sessions with a therapist, who is an expert in transgender issues. By the spring of 2007, the therapist agreed that Melaina was transgender - and psychologically balanced.

Melaina wanted to display her new identity immediately. But mom wanted to go slow. They had to check school policy and prepare answers for those who had questions.

That summer, Benzor-Marquez did her transgender homework, while Melaina grew her hair out, worked on her makeup, and prepared her wardrobe.

There was also the question of a name. Mom wanted to keep the first initial the same. She also wanted something ethnic to reflect their Mexican heritage. Benzor-Marquez's mom mentioned a Greek name, Melaina.

That worked for Benzor-Marquez.

"I named you the first time you were born," she said. "I'm picking it the second time."

Support at school

Before Melaina started eighth grade as a girl in 2007, her mom met with school employees, from secretaries on up, about Melaina's situation. During the first week of classes, someone on staff kept an eye out for her. "We wanted her to be safe and have fun and be a kid," Benzor- Marquez added.

The first day back went fine, Melaina said. Soon after, "the question" arose: "Did you have a sex change?"

If it is the most obvious question for transgender people, it is also the most bothersome.

"Nobody else has to answer that question," said Trans-Youth Family Allies executive director Kim Pearson.

Plus, U.S. standards of medical care generally have called for sex change operations only for people at least 18 years old, according to some advocates.

Now in ninth grade at Mountain View High School in Loveland, Melaina knows a lot of people and has a small circle of close friends. She is also on the girls track team.

Like the Douglas County girl, Melaina uses unisex bathrooms on campus, although she would prefer the girls' restroom. Melaina's counselor is there for her five days a week.

Benzor-Marquez said Melaina's friends have been supportive, encouraging her to ask boys out.

But Melaina also has been harassed and hurt, sometimes accidentally, sometimes not.

One classmate - she says he didn't mean for her to hear - said, "She's an it." Then there was another guy at the bus stop. He was a bit more vocal.

"She's still a guy!" he declared.

She recently had a date with boy to see the movie Beowulf. Her stepfather chaperoned. The date was teased when classmates found out he went with her, Melaina said.

Yet she counts her transition as "100 percent successful."

Mom doesn't go that far. Benzor-Marquez feels that Melaina may have become accustomed to the small but steady stream of comments and questions directed at her, and view them as normal.

But Benzor-Marquez said that parental support, working closely with school officials and being honest with classmates are among the keys to a smooth transition.

That honesty is apparent in how Melaina approaches a guy she likes.

"Have you ever heard the term transgender?" she will say. "I used to be a boy before, but now I'm female."

The response, typically, is hardly what she wants to hear.

"They'll be freaked out for a week or so, then say, 'Can we just be friends?' " Melaina said.

She has not given up. But she also reflects that she may not have a boyfriend throughout high school.

"It hurts to a point," she added. "But you either like me, or you don't."

At one point, Melaina's mother pulls a passport-sized picture out of her wallet. It could be any dark-haired boy at 21/2-years- old, dressed in khakis and a striped dress shirt.

"It's still me," Melaina said. "I don't find it gross or wrong. It's me in a different way."

Transgender Teen Tells Story

from MomLogic

03/13/08 1:03 PM
In her own words, a transgender teen talks candidly about acceptance and tolerance.

We were shocked by the recent murder of 15-year-old Lawrence King--a young boy who was openly gay and reportedly wore mascara, lipstick and jewelry to school. Transgender teens have been in the spotlight lately and have left a lot of parents at a loss when it comes to talking to their own kids. Rika, pictured, a 17-year-old boy who came out as a girl during her freshman year (pictured), sheds a little light on the world of transgender teenagers.

Mom Logic: How did your parents react when you realized that you were really a girl?

Rika: I was in this depressive state. I didn't know if I was gay. I had good friends I was able to connect with, but I wasn't really sure of myself. At that point it was a taboo thing for me to wear female clothing. I was doing badly in school. And my parents asked me questions to know what was wrong and to help them help me. Finally I came out and told them, "Yes I am transgender." Then we went to Puerto Rico and I wore feminine clothing comfortably. That was my freshman year of high school. At that point, I went to a therapist and she said, "Well, she knows that she is a girl and it would be more polite to refer to her as 'her.'"

Mom Logic: How have you had to endure slurs or insults?

Rika: Honestly, I don't know where people get the balls to come up to a girl and say, "Are you a guy?" That is the most hurtful thing someone has said. When someone says something that is really vile or evil, there is obviously more of a problem with you than with me, because I am confident with who I am. That question is offensive because even if I was born female, why would you come up to me and ask me that question?

Mom Logic: How has your Mom been supportive?

Rika: When it comes down to it, she doesn't hear what I say and say "Ohmigosh!" She has always been the person who has been open about sexuality and people being themselves. A lot of things that I am able to talk to my Mom about are things that people would not be able to talk to their parents about. She is really good at asking questions, and it helps me to be free to explore my sexuality. I think in the beginning she was saddened by the fact that I was her only son, and she felt like she was mourning her son. I was offended by that, because I said, "I was never your son. I was always your daughter." But she got over that really fast. I give a lot of credit to my Mom. There's no real strife between us. Other than that, we've always had our teenage struggles.

Mom Logic: What are your tips for Moms and teens who have friends that are transgender?

Rika: Honestly, one of the main things is that you have to reinforce confidence. No matter what decision your child makes, it is still your child. A lot of parents try to control their kids. It's not up to parents anymore what decision the child has to make. By neglecting giving them love you don't help them develop the confidence to stand up to other people. I am grateful that my parents gave me the confidence to say you can be female! It's a beautiful thing to be transgender, you can take both aspects of male and female and make a new person. For a parent it's about reinforcing what they are naturally. Nurture their natural tendencies and watch him develop. As for other teens, if you're not going to accept me, I'm not going to accept you. If you can't be supportive, you probably need to end the friendship, because the person who isn't transgender will probably be uncomfortable, and the person who is won't feel comfortable to be who they are.