Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Missy Ann Syndrome: Purse Grabbing White Women

TransGriot Note: Been a while since I had a guest post from my talented Canadian homegirl Renee, the creative force behind Womanist Musings. This one hit close to home because it reminded me of some pre-transition incidents I had.

And now...live from her undisclosed location in Niagara Falls, Ontario, here's Renee!



I went to the pharmacy to pick up some medication today and as I was passing by a White woman, she looked at me like I was lower than the dirt underneath her fake nails and grabbed her purse. I know that this is something often associated with Black men, but it happens to Black women as well. Apparently, the possessions of her coach purse were just so valuable, that a negro (that would be me) might find the temptation too much. Oddly enough, had she looked beyond the colour of my skin, she would have noticed that my purse, is also coach and it is no knock off (yes I am casting aspersions on her).

2-3 times a day I get some comment or even an e-mail suggesting that I hate White women, because I have the temerity to call them out on their shit. I even had one jack ass suggest that my father left my mother for a White woman, which btw is absolutely laughable. The problem must certainly be my uppity Black ass and not the fact that they think they are living in the antebellum south. Missy Ann syndrome runs deep in the veins of some White women, even when they pretend that they are liberal and tolerant. Missy Ann's constantly declare their strength and independence to the world, but aren't afraid to use their White woman tears and fears to keep Blacks in line.

Unless they can place us in a position that is significantly beneath them, the Missy Ann's of this world don't feel that they are being respected and valued. They know damn well that this is a White man's world and so the only way to have a piece of that power pie, is get into cahoots with them and lord their false superiority over people of colour. This is why you will often hear White women reduce the complaints of WOC to jealousy. On some level we must all want to be them, because how could we possibly be content with who we are. Even though Whiteness has been the cause of so much evil in this world, they have internalized the false belief that Whiteness is the height of human existence.

Talk about slavery and then stand back, because they will be more than happy to tell you about how Blacks owned slaves as well. Talk about the struggles that women face in this life, and they will be more than happy to erase your experience to talk about theirs, as they sing the praises of their White racist female heroes. Talk about their child theft, and they will tell you that they are better at raising your child than you. Talk about empowerment and listen as they elevate themselves, by claiming that all Middle Eastern women are nothing but dogs without agency. Talk about how they like to treat you like a petting zoo and touch you without permission, and they will tell some ridiculous story about the time some child of colour touched their hair as though it is somehow equivalent. No matter what issue you bring up, the one thing that is certain about a Missy. Ann, is that they will find some way to place themselves in the center of it, as though we don't already spend enough time fixated on their issues.

I don't write about White women because I hate them, I write about them because I am sick to death of being treated as less than human. I have had enough of them acting like they are above it all and then participating in racist behaviour that is every bit as damaging as that engaged in by White men. For generations, White women have sought equality with White men, ignoring the fact that in terms of the ability to behave in a racist manner, they long ago found parity. You won't hear this when they talk about oppression, because the only marginalization that matters is there own -- but you will feel their scorn in the most simple activities. I am not a violent person, but watching that woman grab her purse made me want to slap her upside her ignorant hateful head with mine. Each day we have to deal with this kind of ignorance and we are expected to swallow it. Is it really any wonder that when we do finally find out voice, our truth is the harsh to the ear. I do think that a compromise can be reached. I am quite sure that if White women agreed to stop playing Missy Anne and fouling the world with their racist ways, that WOC would be willing to go about our lives in peace, because that is all we have ever really wanted to do in the first place.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Happy Birthday To Moni

My favorite day on the calendar next to Christmas has finally arrived.

It's Cuatro De Mayo, AKA my birthday.

On this day at 10:45 PM CDT in the Lone Star State yours truly arrived on the planet. I look much different now that I did when I arrived in the world, and it's all good.

Thanks to everybody who has wished me a happy birthday so far and will do so before the end of the day. You don't know how much I appreciate it.

For the most part today is shaping up to be a good news-bad news kind of day. While I'm celebrating the fact I made it to another birthday, have my health, a roof over my head, and was blessed to see an African-American president inaugurated and doing spectacularly well in the job.

On the other hand I'm feeling homesick again, frustrated because it's been a while since I've traveled anywhere, moody because I took my last 'mones a few days ago and have to reload in addition to having to work until midnight later today.

But unlike most years in the weeks leading up to my birthday, this year I didn't spend a lot of time lamenting stuff. Maybe it was probably because I was busy with this blog and other writing assignments, the podcast and just simply living my life. I didn't have time to whine about stuff I can't change, the goals I haven't reached yet, or my dreams that as of yet remain unfulfilled. I didn't have time to mope about or ponder the various moments in time in which I made decisions back in the day that turned out to be life altering ones. I have to suck it up, put on the big girl panties and deal with it.

Could things be better? Yep. Do I need to make some improvements in my life in a few areas? Yes. Do I need to realize it's still not too late to make my dreams come true and stop being so hard on myself because it didn't happen sooner? Yep. Could I stand to lose ten pounds? Umm hmm. Do I need to do a better job of staying in touch with friends and family back home, around the country and the world? You betcha.

Do I need to lay off the Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla ice cream? Um....no.

This year I took the advice I give to others and applied it to myself in terms of counting my blessings.

I love the peace of mind and happiness I live my life with since transition. I have picked up a wonderful new friend to complement the ones that are already in my life. The blog is in another positive growth phase. I still look divalicious, even if I'm not feeling it some days. I have my health, a job and money in my purse.

I also get another chance to hit the road with Polar in 24 hours, and y'all know how much I love road trips.

And best of all I love the person I see in the mirror when I wake up in the morning.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Just Because You're Younger Doesn't Mean I Can't Learn Something From You

One lesson I was taught by my parents growing up was even though I possessed off the charts intelligence, in order to keep me from developing the arrogance that can sometimes accompany that level of intelligence, I was told and have observed that there's always someone on the planet who is smarter than you.

I like surrounding myself in my circle of friends with people of not only diverse backgrounds that I can have intelligent, thought provoking conversations with, but of different ages who can teach me something as well.

Sometimes those people are younger than me.

Just because I've lived longer on Planet Earth doesn't necessarily mean I'm automatically more intelligent than a twenty or thirtysomething. I have a life experience advantage on them, but if I sit down and have a conversation with a young brother or sister who has some profound insightful knowledge to impart to me, I'm in shut up and listen mode.

We must remember that the twenty and thirtysomethings grew up being immersed in information and are far more tech savvy than those of us whose first computer was a Radio Shack TRS-80.

I take time to listen to the younglings. They may have a fresh way of looking at a problem or have come up with new tactics to achieve an old goal.

If you're too busy dismissing their idea simply because the person proposing it doesn't have more birthdays under their belt, then you run the risk of driving them away and you and the cause you're championing never having the benefit of their wisdom again.

One of my goals has always been that I want to continue to grow and evolve as a person throughout my lifespan. Sometimes the people that will help you achieve that goal happen to be part of Generations X, Y and Z and not the Pepsi or Greatest Generation.

When they wish to speak to me, they'll have my undivided attention.