Today is Independence Day, the day 234 years ago that we declared our independence from Great Britain (Sparky) and founded our wonderful country.Seems like a certain Canadian (Renee) had a little too much Canadian Club and was talking smack on her nations national holiday, so it's time for me on my country's birthday to uphold the honor of the United States and extol the virtues of my native country.
First up, let's talk about national symbols.
Seriously, the beaver? Nothing beats the majesty of a bald eagle soaring majestically in the sky. It's a metaphor for our unbridled optimism and can do spirit. You can keep Canadian Bacon, I get to happily scarf up barbecue.
And the best is cooked up in my home state of Texas. Nothing beats brisket, steak, burgers, sausage and chicken grilled over a mesquite wood fire.
As far as hockey's concerned, since you brought it up, may I remind you that the first women's Olympic hockey medals were awarded at Nagano in 1998. We beat y'all TWICE to get them and that's our THIRD or FOURTH ranked sport.
The sport we care about is basketball, and business is booming at the international level. We will prove that at the upcoming FIBA World Championships for men and women. You Canucks may have invented basketball, but we perfected it.
Speaking of can-do spirit, President John F. Kennedy set a goal of putting a man on the moon before the end of the decade and returning him safely to Earth, and we accomplished it on July 20, 1969.
Our money may not be colorful, but if you want to buy stuff on the world commodities markets such as oil, you'll be making those purchases with those 'ugly' greenbacks.
And yeah, doesn't my current president, Barack Obama rock?
And have to show some love for the First Lady as well.
And Sparky, what's up with that wimpy football y'all invented where people flop at the first opportunity and the officials can't make the proper calls on it when you do score an infrequent goal? And Renee, don't even bring up that three down, extra wide and extra long field Canuck version.
This is football.
And I would be remiss if I didn't mention in this post the greatest American our people have ever produced, the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
And don't forget the world's favorite soft drink was invented in the USA
You can keep Alberta, the Sweater Vest, Bob Rae, Don Cherry and Ben Mulroney. We have enough homegrown fools to deal with.
Happy Independence Day! On that note gotta go. Have a fireworks show at Eleanor Tinsley Park to attend later today.
