Getting My Coke Bottle Back

When I first began my transition, one of the things I was concerned about was whether or not I would develop shapely curves.

One of the things that sisters are noted for is having curves. Our 'fine brown frames' have been sung about by legions of male singers over the years.

I had no doubts about whether or not I could pull off living on the other side of the gender fence as a Phenomenal Black woman. I was fortunate enough to have a few key pieces of my future feminine presentation in place with my legs, my long eyelashes, smooth skin, thin androgynous body build, and my butt.

Hormones were very good to me in the early stages of my transition. They enhanced what I had and the weight I gained went toward giving me some needed curves. I was quite pleased when I checked myself out the mirror and saw a beautiful sistah staring back at me to match the one inside.

But over time my size 14 shape morphed into a size 22 thanks to the inevitable weight gain from being an estrogen based lifeform, age, me living in H-town with its super sized restaurant portions, the slowing down of my metabolism and my subsequent move to Da Ville in which pizza and great restaurant food is plentiful and an art form. Being depressed and unhappy about leaving home and other myriad issues also played a role in it as well.

At the tail end of June I finally decided that I was going to shed my excess poundage and cut back on some of my bad habits feeding into me ballooning at one point to 275 pounds.

Since diabetes runs in my family and so far I've been able to avoid it, the weight needed to come off. My room in this house is upstairs. We have hills nearby in this neighborhood I have to negotiate when I do my long walks around it and to the nearby reservoir walking trail.

I noted the heavy breathing I was doing when I walked uphill or up the stairs. I was also annoyed by the fact that when I started playing tennis again a year ago after a long layoff, my endurance wasn't as great as it used to be.

Vanity also played a role into my decision to drop the excess poundage. I was not happy about some pics Ness sent me from the recent lobby day. My unhappiness with those photos, my having the status of a role model for this community and having nice size 14 clothes sitting in my closet I wanted to start wearing again was a powerful incentive to drop the excess pounds.

I was pleased when I checked out my reflection in the full length bedroom mirror last week and noted that the shapely sistah has made a comeback.

I cut way back on the fast food, my food size portions, bread, the soda and late night snacking in order to shed that weight. I even fasted for a week and drank lots of water in order to let nature eliminate some of the belly fat.

It was a struggle, but never underestimate the willpower of a Taurus. The joy in me being able to put on a pair of my size 14 jeans, a dress or a skirt and zip it up with no problem was a victory that has done wonders for my self esteem and divatude.

There's also a few nice pant suits I have my eyes on in the Metrostyle catalog as well.

It also didn't hurt that while I was out and about earlier in the week I overheard two brothers saying "Damn, she's fine" while casting admiring glances at me.

I'm still working on getting rid of the remaining belly fat so I can continue wearing those size 14 clothes. I have upcoming speaking engagements I want to be in diva mode for.

It's Past Time For Women To Start Loving Sports

"No person in the U.S. shall, on the basis of sex be excluded from participation in, or denied the benefits of, or be subjected to discrimination under any educational program or activity receiving federal aid."

Ever since President Richard Nixon signed Title IX into law on June 23, 1972 it has had a far reaching effect on the numbers of women earning postgraduate degrees.

Before Title IX, many schools refused to admit women or enforced strict quotas in postgraduate programs. That was reflected in the fact that in 1972, the year Title IX became law, women only received 9% of the medical degrees awarded, 7% of law degrees and 25% of the US citizens receiving doctorates being women.

By 1994, those numbers increased to 38% of medical degrees, 43% of law degrees and 44% of all doctoral degrees awarded to US citizens were women.

One of the prominent effects of Title IX besides the increase in the percentages of women receiving postgraduate degrees is in the world of sports.

Athletics has also created the most controversy regarding Title IX, but its gains have also been noteworthy.

It's not unusual on any given day to turn on the television and see women's intercollegiate sports on TV. There's infinitely more attention focused on women athletes during the Olympics and on high school level girls sports compared to when I was growing up in the late 70's.

But one thing that bothers me as a sports loving person is the dismissive attitude some women have toward all things athletic. It gets to the point when in some cases, women who love or participate in sports are greeted with less than complimentary verbal epithets or have their femininity questioned.

Last year Seventeen magazine in conjunction with the WNBA partnered for a comprehensive survey that was published in the magazine's September 2008 issue.

WNBA President Donna Orender stated, "We are pleased to partner with Seventeen magazine on this important survey as we know first hand how the role of sports can develop young girls into leaders.

"The women of the WNBA are strong, passionate and determined individuals who exhibit these traits both on and off the court. As a result, we are true believers in the significance of participation in sports for all girls and women."

The Seventeen/WNBA survey revealed that 83% of teen girls play sports with basketball ranked as the number one participatory sport.

Girls play sports for a variety of reasons, but the top reason found in this survey is to exercise (68.4%). Other top reasons included forming friendships, competing and representing their schools.

Challenges that young female sports enthusiasts endure include insecurities; 33% of girls who don't play sports say it's because they're worried that they wouldn't be good at it.

In addition, 35% of girls also say their teams don't get as much equipment or field time as the boys' teams and 35% of girls have heard their peers make homophobic remarks about female athletes.

The Seventeen/WNBA survey also revealed that 66% of teen girls believe that cheerleading is a sport, not some sideline event, and 71% think female cheerleaders should cheer at girls' sports events.

Despite these factors keeping some girls from playing sports, teens today are able to look to inspiring women professional athletes and Olympians such as Lisa Leslie, Mia Hamm, Diana Taurasi, Serena and Venus Williams, Candace Parker and Florence Griffith-Joyner.

As young teens hone their athletic skills, they look upon these women as they endeavor to take women's sports to a whole new level and dismiss outdated stereotypes about the women who play them.

You also have young women such as Brittney Griner who are following in their role models footsteps and preparing to exceed even their lofty performance standards.

But despite the overwhelming evidence of the benefits of sports participation for girls and women, you still have mind-numbing fluff coming from women's magazines such as Cosmo that spout erroneous, outdated stereotypes.

In addition, women athletes in addition to having to battle feminine gender policing also have to contend with the sexist attitudes of male sports fans.

Led by the male dominated sports journalism world, the dismissive attitudes of sports talk radio and sports journalists about the level of play filter down to the potential male fan base and male athletes.

We should insist upon and demand consistent, professional coverage of women's sports from the male dominated sorts journalism culture.

Why am I so adamant about it? Sports teaches important life lessons that non athletes often miss out on. You learn that even if you practice hard and execute your game plan flawlessly, sometimes you come up short. You learn how to work well with others as part of a team. You learn how to lose with grace and win with class.

It's a pride builder when you come from a zero skills base to a higher skills level in your chosen sport and you see it translated into better performance on the field.

It's also a major self esteem boost when you kick the winning goal, get the key hit that wins the game for your team or you dig deep, pull yourself out of a love-40 hole in a critical game in a tennis match and come back to win, or run your personal best time to win a medal.

These are lessons that the male population has had ample opportunities to absorb (and some peeps need to reabsorb) and enjoyed through sports competition. The Women's Sports Foundation seconds my thoughts on the matter as well.

We should not only enthusiastically support the young girls and women in our lives who participate in sports, we should also take it upon ourselves to support women's club, high school, intercollegiate and professional sports as well.

I was a proud Houston Comets season ticket holder back home for several years during their championship run and it was the best money I've ever spent.

I saw the money I spent on my season tickets it as my investment toward keeping the WNBA viable and alive for future generations of sports loving girls. Those young girls who marveled at the play of WNBA pioneers such as Cynthia Cooper are now grown up and getting their opportunity to play in the league.

Even though I'm still pissed about the WNBA leadership not doing enough to give a local group enough time to organize and keep my hometown franchise alive, I still support the league.

Far from being something that women should ignore, sports and participation in them by their daughters should be embraced and encouraged.

Blake Lively Feels Like A Transwoman?

Gossip Girl's Blake Lively recently did a photo shoot for the May issue of Allure magazine which will be hitting the stands on April 21.

During the interview for the upcoming magazine cover Lively confessed 'she feels “like a tranny a lot of the time.”

The 21 year old star then expounded on her remarks by saying “I don’t know, I’m…large? They put me in six-inch heels, and I tower over every man. I’ve got this long hair and lots of clothes and makeup on. I just feel really big a lot of the time, and I’m surrounded by a lot of tiny people. I feel like a man sometimes.”

Blake, I'm 6'2" and proud of it. Some of those shorter women you tower over would love to have the beauty and 5'10" height you were blessed with.

If you really want to know what being a transwoman is Hollywood is like, call up Calpernia Addams, Alexandra Billings, Aleshia Brevard, Jazzmun and Candis Cayne sometime. I'll bet those women could give you a PhD level 'ejumacation' on the subject. I'd also be willing to bet that Candis and the other Hollywood transwomen would remind you they aren't getting calls to do photo spreads like you are for fashion magazines or their pictures plastered all over the place either.

And let's face it, even with your declaration notwithstanding, not many people question what genitalia you pack in your panties like they do transwomen even after decades of transition.

But at the same time, just as I want people to take me and other transpeeps at face value when we articulate our feelings, I'm extending the same courtesy to Blake Lively. I'm not walking in her pumps, so I respectfully take her word for it that was her emotional state at the time she said those comments.

But next time, please refrain from using the word 'tranny'. While I feel you in terms of the emotions you expressed, the T-word coming from the lips of a cisgender woman is still a little problematic.

What Do You Mean 'I'm Not Real?'

The other night I hopped on the bus after a long day at work. I was ready to get home, destress, and start the process of transposing the blog posts I'd composed on my legal pad during my break and downtime to my computer.

My thoughts were rudely interrupted by a snaggle-toothed African-American hardhead hissing at me as he ran his mouth on his cell phone 'You ain't real.'

After telling his jockey sized behind off and making a sarcastic reference to his pea sized brain and male member being a perfect match, I returned to my own mental space for the rest of the short ride and walk from my bus stop home.

This is an example of the mentality of some folks in my community when it comes to transgender issues. Sadly some members of the gay and lesbian community, the Catholic Church, the GOP, women and fundamentalist 'little c'Christians share it as well. They have the misguided opinion that they can judgmentally determine who is or isn't female based on their specious interpretation of Biblical scripture or radical feminist dogma to make their own sadly insecure selves feel better about their own lives.

I didn't even allow that nattering nabob of transphobic negativity to ruin my day because I'm cognizant of the fact that there are people in my life who see me as the phenomenal woman I am.

So this fool thinks that 'I ain't real'. Well, I'm real to God, my pastor, my boss, my coworkers, and the people who read this blog and my writings elsewhere in the blogosphere and beyond.

I'm real to the people who've heard my radio and podcast interviews, read my newspaper column, the activist community, my councilmember, my state rep, my state senator and my congressman.

And most importantly, I'm real to my supportive family, my friends, anyone who has met me and all the people who love and care about me, period.

So yeah, I'm real. Too bad some peeps are real stupid and too blind to see it.