I believe that one of the ways to be the best sistah you can be is spending lots of quality interaction time with peeps who have lived that gender role since birth.In order to successfully transition to womanhood, I think it's critical to build up a network of supportive friends who are not only biowomen, but transwomen as well called a sistah circle.
The first order of business in building that sistah circle is finding the biowomen members of it. They should be people who are so secure in their own femininity that they aren't tripping about your transwoman status. They need to be intellectually curious, spiritual and will 'keep it real' for you in terms of their experiences growing up. They will also check you when you start whining about how lucky they are to be born female.
Bear in mind that this is a two way relationship. You have to 'keep it real' for the biowomen as well in terms of sharing some of the painful parts of your background, the intimate details of your life and answering whatever questions the biowoman has about the medical aspects of transition that you feel comfortable discussing.
The transwoman aspect of your sistah circle is important as well. Sometimes there are just issues that no matter how understanding, smart and down your biowoman friend is, they require another transwoman to break it down for you so that you can understand it. But don't just automatically assume that your biowoman friend may not understand your transgender related problem. She may surprise you.If you're blessed to find those types of friends, you're on your way.
As you continue your transition journey you'll want to add to your evolving sistah circle biowomen who are married, unmarried, single, divorced, younger, older, straight, gay, in or out of relationships, mothers or have a combination of these characteristics. You'll want the same kind of breakdown for the transwomen that are part of your sistah circle as well. So why am I talking about sistah circles? Because women have similar networks of intimate interlocking friendships that not only help them sort out the mysteries of womanhood and life in general, but help them get through the challenges of being a woman in a man's world.
My sistahfriends have been invaluable to me in terms of my growth and understanding of the spiritual nature of femininity. They have not only helped me put together my femme presentation, they have checked me when I haven't been on point with it as I need to be. They also smack me back into reality when I start whining about the bull I have to deal with because I wasn't born female. I bring to the table as a sistah circle member not only my analytical abilities about relationships, willingness to learn everything I can about being female and the desire to have the friendship last a lifetime, I'm also a powerful ally in helping them decipher the mysteries of male behavior.
By building sistah circle friendships, you also help the transgender community. You demystify us in their eyes and help 'ejumacate' them about our lives. Your biowomen friends can potentially be our best allies when disinformation about transpeeps comes up in their daily interactions with other non-transgender persons. They can enlighten peeps about what the real deal is when it comes to transgender peeps because they know one personally.
It also never hurts to have a loyal person in your corner, period.
You have nothing to lose and may gain a friend for life
