Letter To Judge Clapp From Nikki's Mom

TransGriot Note:   The letter Nikki's mother sent to Judge Clapp in the wake of his ruling.

To: Honorable Judge Randy M. Clapp
329th Judicial District Court
100 S. Fulton, Suite 200
Wharton, TX 77488
Via email: Cassie Ritter, Court Administrator
cassie@329th.com

Re: Nikki Araguz

Dear Sir:

I am Nikki Araguz’s mother. It is with great distress that we learned FROM A TRUSTED REPORTER IN THE MEDIA about your judgment in the lawsuits against our daughter, Nikki Araguz – on Monday night, BEFORE you officially announced your decision. The Plaintiff’s attorney, FRANK MANN, continued his historical mal-practice of malicious, devious, and vindictive actions by releasing press releases in advance of court proceedings – his obvious motivation was to emotionally hurt Nikki and our family. Again.

Was he permitted to release this information prior to court proceedings on Tuesday? If not, will you, as Judge, find him in Contempt of Court, and sanction him for this abhorrent behavior? Are you aware that Mr. Mann had – while our beloved son-in-law was alive – maliciously released personal and HIPPA information about Nikki and Thomas to the general public that was politically and personally motivated? That Mr. Mann, while hired by Heather Delgado, had conflict of interest, as he had been an attorney for Nikki and Emilio Mata in a bankruptcy proceeding case, therefore had client/attorney knowledge which he used in distributing this harassing and hurtful email last year – intending to cause emotional, financial, psychological, professional and relationship harm to THOMAS and NIKKI. Heather Delgado obtained private, personal documents while seeking more MONEY – Thomas had NO income, as he had just finished 2 years of college, while Nikki paid child support for his two children, and her income supported Thomas and herself.

You never met my husband and I, although we wished we could have been with our daughter every time there was a court hearing. I am a stroke survivor, paralyzed in a wheelchair, diabetic, have seizures, and a colostomy. My husband has had 3 heart attacks, quintuple-bypass surgery last year, mini-strokes since Thomas died, and has COPD on oxygen. We are unable to travel, and I receive home nursing care. THOMAS WAS AN IMPORTANT MEMBER OF OUR FAMILY, WHO LOVED US AS PARENTS, was always here to help us, and we have suffered immeasurable grief and loss. THOMAS took my husband – his father-in-law – to the hospital on Feb. 1, 2010, the morning of bypass surgery. THOMAS and Nikki were with me in the ER of Methodist Hospital on June 3, 2010, when I had a seizure, and was taken unconscious to the Stroke Center with another traumatic brain injury. THOMAS stayed with me on June 21, 2010 – the day AFTER Father’s Day – with his two boys, our grandsons – while Nikki took her Dad to the doctor. (Yes, I have pictures of that day, of Thomas and the boys on my sofa.)

I do not understand WHY you could render a judgment that would dishonor our son-in-law’s love and commitment for Nikki when he proposed to her, and married her, lived as husband and wife with her until his tragic death. I cannot comprehend how you could conclude that their marriage was “invalid” when CLEARLY Thomas Araguz III knowingly, willingly, and without any reservations or conditions, married Nikki and held out with pride to EVERYONE that she was his wife. His parents had NO questions or issues with Nikki until 1. Frank Mann unethically violated their privacy with his venomous emails, 2. Heather in her attempt to squeeze more child support from Thomas (who had NO earned income) viciously shared Nikki’s HIPPA-protected and private information with Thomas’ family and 3. after Thomas’ death, when I SUSPECT attorneys (Frank Mann?) suggested to Heather Delgado and Simona Longoria that they could BENEFIT from HURTING NIKKI and DISHONORING THOMAS with these “frivolous” lawsuits. Apparently, their “idea” worked – they didn’t care about the children, or Thomas! They only wanted MONEY. And you ruled in their favor. I do not understand that.

 Our daughter was born with a birth defect. I am her mother. I cannot control what a doctor erroneously “checked” on a birth certificate form in 1975. Her biological father was in the military, and he received orders to go overseas on the day she was born. We moved from California to Texas so I could be near my parents – Nikki was only a few weeks old. Her brother was 2. Her father was a decorated Army Veteran, when he was killed in a car accident at age 21. That very day, I had called Fort Hood to discuss a birth defect that my baby had – Nikki. She was an infant.

It is beyond my comprehension why you, Sir, would find her marriage to Thomas “invalid” when Nikki had been married to Emilio Mata for ten years, and divorced him in Wharton, Texas – whose court granted that divorce? I ask, Your Honor, because obviously that means Nikki and Emilio’s marriage was legally recognized as “Valid” – in order for there to be a divorce to be granted.

Again, I find it interesting that the plaintiff attorney, FRANK MANN, had represented Nikki and Emilio Mata in their bankruptcy while THEY WERE MARRIED! Mr. Mann took their money for legal fees, never questioned whether Mr. and Mrs. Mata’s MARRIAGE was “valid” – so yet, he represents plaintiff in this lawsuit against our daughter, when she married Thomas, and he died? Besides Mr. Mann’s conflict of interest, and questionable motives, it seems a double-standard on his part to recognize Nikki’s marriage to Emilio Mata, but try to invalidate her marriage to Thomas Araguz. Money… Nikki did not file ANY actions – the plaintiffs brought this devastation on her, and ALL OF US with hurtful allegations and these lawsuits.

So please don’t tell me, Sir, who my child is – or that her marriage to Thomas Araguz III should be found “invalid”. She is and always has been affectionate, beautiful, ambitious, thoughtful, compassionate, proactive, and loving.

Besides the actual marriage ceremony, which should be recognized considering Nikki had already been married and divorced in Texas without legal entities questioning validity, Nikki and Thomas lived together, had joint bank accounts and jointly was known as husband and wife for almost two years, which in any other situation would be “common law” marriage – requiring a divorce if there were a conflict between two individuals in such a relationship.

I wish I could have been in your courtroom, Sir, to express my thoughts. I trust Nikki’s legal counsel will appeal your decision, as our entire family feel Nikki has been treated with disrespect, dehumanized, discriminated against, and used as a punching bag for others’ self-serving motivations.

Kindest Regards,
Sheri Taylor Bockelman

KFA Supports ENDA

TransGriot Note: One of my former colleagues in Da Ville, Nick Wilkerson, wrote this letter that was published in Sunday's Courier-Journal.

The Employment Non-Discrimination Act, or ENDA, (H.R. 3017) would prohibit employment discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity. This is hardly a radical notion since already 40 percent of the U.S. population is protected from such discrimination by virtue of laws in 12 states and over 100 localities. Over a million Kentuckians are protected through local ordinances in Covington, Lexington and Louisville, thanks to the combined efforts of the Kentucky Fairness Alliance, our allies (such as the Fairness Campaign) and fair-minded individuals.

However, federal legislation is still needed since those Americans who are most vulnerable to discrimination tend to reside in the states, cities and rural areas that have not enacted such laws. We have certainly found that to be true here in Kentucky. Without such protection, lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender workers can be fired without recourse simply for who they are.

ENDA addresses many objections by exempting the armed forces, religious institutions and employers with fewer than 15 employees.

Kentuckians have consistently demonstrated that they believe in fairness. As long ago as 1999, a survey by Decision Research found that nearly 73 percent of all Kentuckians believed that this type of employment discrimination was wrong. Once again, Kentuckians demonstrated that they are "ahead" of most of their legislators in their respect for basic human rights.

ENDA currently has 202 co-sponsors in the U.S. House, including Rep. John Yarmuth of Louisville. While this is a great indication of widespread support, ENDA currently is stuck in the House Education and Labor Committee.

All fair-minded Kentuckians in the 3rd District need to contact Yarmuth to thank him for his support of ENDA. Also, please urge him to add his voice to those in Congress requesting the leadership of the House to bring ENDA to a vote prior to the Memorial Day recess. Please let your voices in support of ENDA be heard now.

To learn more about ENDA, visit www.kentuckyfairness.org.

NICK WILKERSON
Board Member
Kentucky Fairness Alliance

To QI & Mr Stephen Fry: Transgender Women Are Not Blokes And Are Not There To "Fool" Anybody

TransGriot Note: This is the text of a complaint letter sent to the BBC by Sass Rogando Sasot concerning a transphobic January 8 segment of a British TV show called Quite Interesting. For my UK readers you can watch that January 8 episode here, for the rest of us, the player isn't set up for viewing outside of Great Britain.

If you wish to send your complaint to the BBC, here's the link. You can also send it to the QI contact person Sarah Lloyd (sarah@qi.com)

Here's Sass's letter

Dear QI:

I'm writing to complain about the comments and questionable opinion of your host, Mr Stephen Fry, about transgender women in your episode entitled "Girls & Boys" on January 8, 2010. The disrespectful comments and questionable opinion of Mr Fry were said during the discussion that came after he asked the question: "How can you be so sure she's not a bloke?"

After discussing why the Adam's apple can't really be a sign that someone is a man, Mr Fry said that: "Basically, a good ladyboy can imitate almost anything female, in terms of how they hold(?) their legs and you know...anything like that."

Then one of the guests asked "Hands and feet?". Mr Fry answered that there are also other women who have large feet then he said: "A dainty ladyboy can easily fool and often has."

Finally, Mr Fry concluded this segment by saying: "The truth is,
Without undressing them or testing their DNA, you can't be sure what sex someone is. So be careful out there."

I find the comments disrespectful and questionable on the following grounds:

First, the term "ladyboy" is a term that is usually used in the sex industry, specially in porn that features Asian transgender women. This term has the same offensive connotation as the term "she-male". I suggest that you refrain using this term as calling transgender women a ladyboy is no different than simply calling them "boys/men", thereby disrespecting their gender identity as women.

Second, the comments about transgender women "imitating anything female" and "a dainty [transgender woman] can easily fool and often has" suggest that transgender women are out there to deceive people. Transgender women are not deceiving anyone because they are just simply living their gender identity as women. This is a courageous manifestation of one's inner truth and not a sinister ploy to fool anyone. More than disrespectful, this comment is also disturbing as this is the same line of argument being used by the perpetrators of violence and discrimination against transgender women to justify their acts.

And third, the opinion of Mr Fry that someone's "true sex" is determined by what's between our legs OR by our DNA is highly questionable.

The external genitalia is now losing ground in being the "true" determinant of someone's sex. As what Dr. Louis Gooren, a Dutch endocrinologist and one of the leading experts on transsexualism, said in his closing speech during The Council of Europe: 23rd Colloquy on European Law: Transsexualism,
Medicine and Law, that:

"It has always been assumed that the sexual differentiation was completed with the formation of the external genitalia. But it is NOT. Since the beginning of this century we have known that the brain, too, undergoes a sexual differentiation. This has been firmly established scientifically in lower animals, and it occurs relatively late in development, in most species just before or shortly after birth...What do we know about man, the human species? We know that the human brain, too, undergoes a degree of sexual differentiation...Long after you were born and after your sex had been determined by the criterion of the external genitalia, your brain still had a long way to go to become sexually differentiated; it does not do so not before the age of 3 to 4 years. These scientific findings may shed light on the problem of transsexualism where we find a contradiction between the genital sex on the one hand and the gender identity on the other hand."


And DNA testing is as problematic as using external genitalia as determinant of the "true" sex of anybody. As what Dr Eric Vilain, a clinical genetics specialist at the UCLA Health System: "Recent advances in the field of the genetics of sexual development have shown the extreme complexity of defining males and females from a biological standpoint. There is no one biological parameter that clearly defines sex. ”

In fact, the United Kingdom, with its Gender Recognition Law, is now one of the countries in the world that has now legally recognized that one's gender identity is the best determinant of one's sex.

I understand that the comments of Mr Fry were meant to be humorous. However, there's a fine line between having a good laugh and turning a group people into an object of ridicule. And as a quiz show, we expect that QI would be curious enough to discover and use information that reflects current discoveries and understanding of the concepts that are being discussed in the show. This segment is not about furthering scientific understanding but more about furthering the opinion that transgender women are "really" blokes.

I trust that QI and Mr Fry would rectify this unfortunate and unbecoming display of ignorance.

Thank you.

Respectfully,

Ms Sass Rogando Sasot
transgender rights activist,
Communication Officer in Asia of
the International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual,
Trans & Intersex Association (ILGA)

Dr. Kelley Winters GID Reform Letter

TransGriot Note: One issue that many trans people are passionate about is GID reform.

I'm proud to know and was able to get reacquainted with on my trip to Boulder last fall with Dr. Kelley Winters, who is one of the activists leading the fight to open minds on that issue.

Here for your TransGriot reading pleasure is the text of a June 22, 2009 letter she penned to help make the case.
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Alan F. Schatzberg, M.D., President, American Psychiatric Association
Carol A. Bernstein, M.D., President-elect, American Psychiatric Association
American Psychiatric Association
1000 Wilson Boulevard
Suite 1825
Arlington, VA 22209
care/of: apa@psych.org


Dear Drs. Schatzberg and Bernstein:
I am a writer and consultant on gender diversity issues in medical and mental health policy, and I am asking the American Psychiatric Association to affirm human dignity and access to medical transition treatment for trans and gender variant individuals in public position statements.

To introduce myself, I am the author of Gender Madness in American Psychiatry: Essays from the Struggle for Dignity (2008) and the founder of GID Reform Advocates (www.gidreform.org). I serve on advisory boards to the Matthew Shepard Foundation and TransYouth Family Allies, and I have presented papers to Annual Meetings of the American Psychiatric Association in 1998, 2003 and 2009.

I am also a transsexual woman and can speak personally to the barriers to dignity, civil justice and medical care at issue in current APA policies and diagnostic nomenclature.

The APA has a long taken strong public positions in support of oppressed minority groups. For example, in 1973 the American Psychiatric Association issued a historic position statement on “Homosexuality and Civil Rights” that had a profound impact on public opinion and defamatory stereotypes. Unfortunately, the APA has never issued a similar statement in support of trans and gender variant people, even though APA policies and DSM nomenclature have contributed to analogous barriers and stereotypes that trans and gender variant people face.

I am asking for your personal support in drafting APA position statements to clarify that gender difference is not disorder, to affirm the medical necessity of transition care, and to urge legal recognition of social gender transition:

• I ask the elected leadership and Board of Trustees of the American Psychiatric Association to affirm in a position statement that gender identity and expression which differ from assigned birth sex do not, in themselves, constitute mental disorder and imply no impairment in judgment or competence.

• I also ask the APA to follow the example of the American Medical Association, the American Psychological Association, and the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) by issuing a statement clarifying the medical necessity of hormonal and/or surgical transition treatments for those who suffer distress caused by deprivation of physical characteristics congruent with their gender identity. I call on the APA to urge insurance and healthcare coverage for medically prescribed transition treatment as well as ongoing and ordinary medical and mental health care.

• Finally, I ask the American Psychiatric Association to follow the example of the American Psychological Association and WPATH in opposing discrimination on the basis of gender identity or expression and encouraging legal recognition of all people that is consistent with their gender identity and expression. I ask the APA to affirm in a position statement the dignity and legitimacy of individuals who have transitioned their social gender roles, regardless of their physical anatomy or assigned birth sex.

I have attached the names of well over 400 community members, leaders, clinicians, researchers, scholars and allies, who have joined me in this request through an on-line Facebook advocacy group. I have also attached copies of individual letters that I have received.

I would very much appreciate your consideration and endorsement of these position statements. Please feel free to contact me, if I can answer any questions that you have or can provide more information.

Regards,
Kelley Winters, Ph.D.
GID Reform Advocates
www.gidreform.org