Happy Birthday Monica!

Just in case you're wondering, I celebrated my birthday a month ago. The Monica I'm wishing a Happy Birthday to is one who is no longer with us, but is still very special to me in my heart.

Her name is Monica Monet Holloway-Barrett and she was born on this date in 1962 in Mobile, AL.

So how did a native Houstonian get to meet this Alabama girl? Her grandparents lived in Houston and during her spring break in 1980 she traveled to H-town to visit them. HISD was still in session at the time and my classmate and her friend Virginia Tucker lived next door to Monica's grandparents.

Virginia invited Monica to hang out with her for the day at Jones and Virginia was in my trig class. When she and Monica walked through the door she had my undivided attention that day instead of my math teacher Mr. Stevenson.

Intelligent people tend to gravitate to other intelligent people and I picked up on that. My 'twin' liked smart sistahs. Monica was about 5'6", had a flawless light caramel colored skin tone and shoulder length jet black hair framing her face.

We exchanged contact data and I was even more smitten with her after I discovered her birthday was June 4, which also happens to be my late Grandmother Tama's birthday as well.

Through the summer of 1980 we traded letters but as the demands of my census enumerator job increased and her summer classes at Rensselear Polytechnic Institute demanded more of her attention we gradually lost contact with each other. When my own freshman year at UH approached and subsequently my transgender issues demanded resolution during the spring semester she faded from my memory for a while.

Over the years I wondered what happened to the girl I met during the last months of my senior year and developed a serious crush on. One day I was flipping through the Houston Chronicle and stumbled across her wedding announcement that her grandparents had placed.

It caught me up on her life up until that time. She'd graduated from Duke in 1984, pledged AKA and had become a doctor after graduating from medical school in 1990. I also discovered that she was now living in Houston. I'd seen the announcement too late to attend the wedding, was a little jealous of the guy she was marrying, but at the same time was pleased to know that things were going well for Monica. I was also happy to know that she'd found someone special to spend the rest of her life with.

In April 1998 I was once again perusing the Houston Chronicle when I was shocked to see something I didn't expect.

Monica's obituary

It didn't mention how she died, but Dr. Monica Holloway-Barrett had become nonetheless an Ivy Beyond The Wall. That obituary also updated me on the final chapter of her life before she was called home April 9. She'd given birth to a daughter in 1993, was teaching classes at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston and was involved in a long list of local organizations at the point of her untimely passing.

I cried for a few moments after reading it and realizing that she was only 35 when she died. Once again I was seeing it too late to attend and pay my last respects and I was a little upset about that. It's also ironic and frustrating to me that our paths could have crossed before she passed away. One of the schools that we used to do Trans 101 seminars at was Baylor College of Medicine and the first one I was part of took place in February 1998.

I took some time to remember the beautiful girl I met in my math class that day who'd become an outstanding woman. I clipped that obituary, scanned the picture (which is on my other computer, darn it) and stored it in my high school memory book.

She's one of the reasons that when it came time for me to choose a feminine name when I transitioned in 1994, I chose Monica.

My name today is a reminder to myself on multiple levels. I wanted to honor her memory, so I strive to carry myself in the same way that I remember her as a classy, beautiful and intelligent woman. It's also a reminder to myself to make every moment count and make quality use of the time that you're allotted. Unlike the Cylons of Battlestar Galactica, we only get one shot at living our lives and you don't get multiple practice runs until it's perfect.

Happy birthday, Monica. Say hello to my grandmother Tama for me.

Black Music Month

photos-Duke Ellington, Denyce Graves, 'Jimmy Jam' Harris and Terry Lewis

Since 1979 the month of June has been celebrated as Black Music Month in the United States. At the urging of legendary songwriter and record producer Kenny Gamble, President Jimmy Carter designated June as Black Music Month.

A quarter century later, President Bush like all American presidents since then have issued an annual Black Music Month proclamation to celebrate the occasion.

It's a time when we look back at the various forms of music that we either created, such as jazz, the blues, gospel music, rap, and hip-hop.

There are music genres that we've enhanced with our talents such as disco and the opera world with singers such as Leontyne Price, Denyce Graves and Kathleen Battle.

We also celebrate our rich musical tradition that we brought with us from the African continent.

We remember our legendary artists like Mahalia Jackson, Louis Armstrong, Ray Charles, Aretha Franklin, Little Richard, Luther Vandross, James Brown, Ella Fitzgerald, Ma Rainey, Bessie Smith, Miles Davis, John Coltrane, B.B. King and Duke Ellington just to name a few.

We also celebrate the heirs to their legacy in our current artists like Alicia Keys, John Legend, Jill Scott and others.

Black Music Month is a chance to celebrate the huge imprint that we have left on American music and indeed, the world musically since we arrived on these shores in 1619. We get reconnected with some of our pioneers, such as Thomas A. Dorsey, the 'Father of Gospel Music.'

We give props to the legendary producers such as Motown's Holland Dozier Holland, Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis, Gamble and Huff and the folks following in their giant footsteps.



We also marvel at how our music gave up hope in dark times for our people, celebrated our successes, helped us dance on Saturday nights and get our praise on during Sunday morning worship services.

It was the soundtrack for our youth, our love making, instilled pride in our heritage and motivated us (and the South Africans) to fight for our civil rights.

It even inspires athletes to perform at championship levels. Ask the 1979 Pittsburgh Pirates or Sister Sledge if you think I'm kidding about that.

Black music is a powerful, multigenerational, creative force.



Every now and then George W. Bush gets something right. Here are his words from the May 31, 2002 proclamation declaring Black Music Month in the USA.



I call on Americans of all backgrounds to learn more about the rich heritage of black music and how it has shaped our culture and our way of life, and urge them to take the opportunity to enjoy the great musical experiences available through the contributions of African American music.

I plan to help y'all out this month in exploring Black music. As far as I'm concerned, EVERY month is Black Music Month.

Now where's my Parliament-Funkadelic CD?

June 2007 TransGriot Column

Chuck Knipp + SQL + Minstrel Show = Racism
Copyright 2007, THE LETTER

Just in time for pride I’m calling out all you GLBT racism enablers.

Racism enabler? Moi? Yes, you!

You peeps who silently sit through racist rants that would make the local KKK Grand Wizard proud. It also includes you peeps who paid good American money to see and support a racist minstrel show like some of y’all did on May 5 during Derby.

A minstrel show mind you that perpetuates stereotypes dating back to the 1830’s and has as much humor in it as Don Imus’ April 4 ‘nappy headed garden tool’ comments that got him canned from his multimillion dollar radio gig.

Stop rolling your eyes and muttering under your breath ‘there she goes again.’ I’m just as sick and tired of ‘splaining to y’all why Chuck’s minstrel show is offensive to the African-American SGL community. For the record, it’s disrespectful on multiple levels to single mothers, economically disadvantaged peeps, women and African-Americans.

Spare me your latest ‘It’s free speech’ SQL defense line. With free speech comes responsibility and consequences as well. Free speech cuts both ways. Just as Chuck has the right to say things and insult my people in his ‘act’ I have a reciprocal right to protest and call him out for performing a 'show’ with stereotypes rooted in slavery.

And no, Chuck doesn’t get a ‘dodge criticism’ free pass because he’s gay. Isaiah Washington and Tim Hardaway didn’t (and still don’t) get them from the gay community for their one-time comments, so a serial offender like Chuck doesn’t get one either.

Let me also put an end to Chuck’s disingenuously fallacious statement that by performing SQL he’s fostering a discussion on race relations by getting us to laugh at them.

Bull feces.

Chuck is exacerbating racial tensions, not healing them. Using a blackface image with 400 years of negativity associated with it doesn’t exactly lend itself in African-American eyes as a starting point for a civil discourse on race relations. In 2002 we African-Americans had a major problem with those blackface images in Spike Lee’s ‘Bamboozled’ movie. You know we’re gonna be highly perturbed with someone standing on stage in blackface who is not only gay and should know better, but comes from the same ethnic group and gender that enslaved our great-great grandparents.

That little ‘12 Days of Kwanzaa’ ditty Chuck composed that’s posted on every white supremacist website on the Net also puts an abrupt end to that ‘I’m a racial healer' fallacy as well.

Finally, let’s get one thing straight (pardon the pun). The white community gay or straight doesn’t get to determine what we African-Americans should or shouldn't be offended by. The African-American community collectively does and it’s the height of arrogance for you to think that you do. Trotting out RuPaul, the mysterious African-American ‘friend’ who’s allegedly an SQL fan (yeah, right) or anyone else for Chuck to hide behind ain’t gonna work either. RuPaul has less credibility in the African-American SGL community nowadays than Condoleezza Rice.

It should be obvious after 5 years of protests, show cancellations, denunciations from African-American activists, African-American GLBT columnists and bloggers, GLBT organizations, our gay and straight allies and other concerned citizens of various ethnic backgrounds where we stand on the SQL issue. The more intransigent you get about SQL, the more you risk losing the African-American GLBT community as an ally
in the GLBT rights struggle.

Yes peeps, it’s that serious.

This was always more than just us complaining about a lousy minstrel show. This is being viewed by some in the African-American GLBT community as a litmus test to see just how serious the white GLBT community is about dealing with issues that we deem important.

And right now you’re in danger of failing that test.